PLEASE HELP ME RECOVER MY STOLEN LAPTOP I WILL GIVE YOU A IN SOUTH AFRICA

My name is Adrian Hill and my number is . My black 17" i7 Acer was taken from my office on Friday morning at 9:45. The person who took it was a bald oldish gentleman. I will post an image of him tomorrow. My company is called Hillcraft and we are located at Unit 28, The Old Timber Yard, 7th avenue, Kensington. I will give you a registered decent 4 door Fiat Uno for the safe return of my laptop. I will not question you and I will not involve the police. Idon'teven care if you are the balding gentleman who took the laptop. Just give it back to me and I will make your day.